Pour some sugar on me...or not

       I feel like it is common knowledge that being a parent is difficult, but can also be the most rewarding thing to happen in life.  I don’t feel that parents often go into detail about what they mean by “difficult”.  From the pictures of perfectly happy infants on Facebook (yes, there is one of mine too so I am not judging!), it seems that babies are happy, sleepy, and smiley all the time, right??

            When I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law shortly after they had my nephew (pre-baby for me), my sister-in-law said something along the lines of “Everyone sugar coated it for me and I have decided I am not going to sugar coat it for anyone else.  Being a parent is hard.”  I don’t think she knows how powerful those words were.  They stuck with me – obviously!  They are powerful because they are true and they give hope. 

Here is a small glimpse into one moment in my world as a new parent -

Wake baby to feed (because it has been a few hours)

Baby starts crying

Put baby to breast

Baby screams head off

Try different hold

Try different breast

Baby gets more upset

Looks to husband with expression that says “HELP!”

Husband takes baby to calm him

Husband feeds baby from bottle once calm

I am close to tears because I feel I have failed

Baby gets fed, calms down, and goes back to sleep

My head floods with questions/worries anyway -

Will baby ever breastfeed again?

What did I do wrong?

Will the next feeding go the same way?

Was he even hungry?

Should I have just let him sleep?

Is he gaining enough weight?

How can difficulty give hope?  The words that my sister-in-law spoke let me know that I am not the only mom/parent almost in tears and feeling helpless/hopeless at times.  I am not alone.  Every parent (even the smiley baby ones on Facebook) deal with a baby who seems inconsolable sometimes.  And my gosh there are smiley baby moments!  There are “easy” feedings and precious snuggles.  It is not always difficult, but when it is, it can be a challenge to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I have never been a glass half full person when it comes to my life.  I’m a little bit of a pessimist.  I used to feel like if I ever got happy and hopeful something would happen to shut down that happiness.  I have learned over the years though that I am so thankful for the difficult times because they make the good times SO MUCH BETTER!  I would take the smiles and snuggles for granted if I didn’t have the moments when I longed for them. 

You may not be a parent, but I am sure you can relate in some area of your life.  I’m not going to sugar coat it – life can be difficult, but you are not alone!  Do not be afraid to reach out and let someone know what you going through.  Ask for help!  Find someone to confide in!  If I have learned anything from becoming a parent, life is not meant to be accomplished by yourself!

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit