Going for Gold/Dealing with Defeat

When I was growing up, there was a strong push for “everyone gets a trophy!”  The idea is still around today, but I think that people are starting to question it a little bit more.  When kiddos are little (under 5), I think the idea is ok. 

“You played on your first sports team!  Here is a tangible award.”

“You drew your first family picture! Gold star for you!”

“You got through your first dance class without crying.  Ice cream for everyone!”

I feel like those kiddos need that praise and motivation in order to continue trying.  When kids get older though, I think it is ok to have one true winner.  It is acceptable to let kids feel a little let down when they don’t win the science fair, the football game, or get an A++ on their essay.  It simulates the “real world” where even when you try your hardest you don’t always win.

I saw excellent examples of graceful “defeat” during the Rio 2016 Olympics this past summer.  It started with the trials.  I couldn’t imagine training for 4 years (I mean I know for most of them it has been their whole lives) and then not making the team because of an injury, fall, “off” day, someone trained a little harder, etc.  These examples continued during the Olympics when athletes competed and only three “won”.  Again, watching the faces of athletes who had trained and put their whole beings into their sport and not winning was tough.  Honestly, I was thinking - How do they not just crumble into the fetal position?  Some of them had the hope of Tokyo 2020!  Some of them were heading into retirement.  For some of them this was their one shot. 

Not everyone gets a trophy.  This can lead to a lot of heartbreak.  BUT it can also lead to a lot of triumphs.  Olympic medals would lose their value if everyone got one.  Winning the game would not be triumphant if no one had to lose.  An A on an essay or test wouldn’t be worth the hard work if it was easy to come by.

I think we need to start introducing this idea at a younger age.  When kiddos face obstacles, fall down, and see that they can get back up and try again with the hope of future successes, it makes them more resilient.  It makes it easier to take risks and overcome failures.  I think it will improve our workplaces in the future when younger generations grow up and are not expecting promotions and opportunities to be handed to them. 

My favorite Olympic athletes to watch were the ones with a backstory of “failure”.  There is no better feeling then watching them cross the finish line/touch the wall/score a goal victorious.  That feeling would not be nearly as strong without the heartache that put the fire in them to try again.

The Olympics taught me a lesson for any age – In this life, we work hard.  Sometimes this hard work leads to immediate success and sometimes we have to try, try again.  We may not always accomplish our goals, but we will definitely grow in the process.  If you do get that “gold medal” you have been striving for, it will be way more rewarding knowing that it was not handed to you for just participating in life.

In the words of Aaliyah –

“If at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again.”

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Legacy

“Legacy” by Nichole Nordeman is a song I hear occasionally on the radio.  It is one of those songs that the lyrics pop into my head from time to time.

“I want to leave a legacy.  How will they remember me?  Did I choose to love?  Did I point to You enough?”

We all make an impact on the world while we are here.  Sometimes our biggest impact occurs after we depart.  At 27, I don’t think about death much and when I do it seems completely untouchable.  I know it will happen to me and could happen at any moment, but it seems so far away and distant.  I still have that invincible childlike naivety and I would like to keep that for as long as I can.

Regardless, I know that one day I will no longer be here and all that will be left are pictures, videos, and memories.  I sometimes wonder what will my legacy be?  I doubt I will make huge strides in education.  I love what I do and the students I teach, but I do not foresee myself moving mountains in my field.  I doubt I will be a supermom (even though technically anyone who births and/or raises a child is a superheroine in my mind).  Hopefully, I raise great kiddos, but I doubt I will make any major impact in the field of parenting.  I love myself, but consider myself kind of basic in most areas of my life.  Yep people – I said it and I am OK WITH THAT!  So what will my legacy be? 

I hope it will be my words.  I am a shy introvert (What? You couldn’t tell?!).  I’m starting to think I might even have some social anxiety, so my legacy will not be my verbal words, but I hope my written words. 

I started journaling when I was in about second grade.  My first dated journal entry was in 1997.  

My second grade picture

First entries (not dated)

First Dated Entry

Y'all I was trying to find a husband at age 8!

My collection of completed journals

I stopped journaling regularly some time in college and it is one of my biggest regrets.  I will never be 100% open on my blog.  Just so ya know!  BUT I have been 100% open in my journals over the years.  I think one of the best legacies we can leave behind is “telling it all” – the good, the bad, the ugly, the scary, the beautiful, the crazy.  Most of us walk this earth trying to look like we have it semi put together.  And that is ok!  As adults, especially in the professional world, people should be able to trust us to do our jobs and lead “adult lives”.  The fact of the matter is most of us, especially in our 20s, are still trying to figure it all out.  The problem is it looks like we know what we are doing while we are all actually struggling and no one wants to talk about it because we think we are the only ones who just want to be a 12 year old at summer camp again – some freedom, but still have mom and dad waiting at home to fix  dinner, clean  dirty camp clothes, and tuck us in at night.

Ok Whit – bunny trail – come back – refocus – LEGACY.

But all of that does have to do with my legacy!  I want people to read my journals when I am gone or maybe I will show them to my nieces/daughters/granddaughters when I am still here to say “Hey!  Look at June 25, 2005!  I know what it is like to like a boy and get turned down!”  I want people to see the “deep stuff” and the vulnerability.  I want them to know that they are not alone in their struggles, fears, goals, aspirations, etc.  While on this earth, I think we all put up a facade (some more than others).  No one truly knows the real us.  But when we leave, I think our best gift is to tell the world everything.  To come completely clean if we never have before.  Hopefully someone will “read our words” (or whatever your legacy is) and feel that they have hope.  “If (insert name here) can get through this and succeed, then so can I!” 

Life is precious.  It definitely should not be wasted thinking about it being over, BUT when it is over (hopefully a L...O...N...G time from now for us all), what legacy will you leave behind? 

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

You can do anything! BUT...

“You can do anything, but not everything.” – David Allen

One of my recent hairstylists had this quote tattooed on her arm and I just fell in love with it.  I love quotes that are short, but full of encouragement and motivation.

I find this quote most helpful in my role as a teacher.  My goal this year is to S…L…O…W D…O…W…N.

I felt like my first five years of teaching were...

RUSHRUSHRUSH.  

NOTENOUGHTIMETOGETEVERYTHINGDONE. 

NOTIMEFORSPACES. 

LETSGOOOOOOO!

I was trying to do everything and in turn I didn’t really do anything.  Well I did something, of course, but did not really meet any major goals I had set for myself or my students.  Even when students met academic goals, I still felt like I missed out on opportunities to really get to know them and their needs because I was so rushed to get every bit of academic knowledge into them that I could.  As most teachers know, without a solid relationship with your students, academics don’t mean jack - to put it bluntly.

You can do a lot of things.  Teachers are moms/dads, therapists, nurses, directors, facilitators, planners, writers, etc. etc. etc. In fact, in any job we wear many hats.  In any phase of life, we wear many different hats.  If you try to wear them all perfectly (and make sure they slay with your shoes and accessories), you will probably end up looking a hot mess.

When you look in the mirror on those days when you are wearing a construction worker’s hat, running shorts, high heels, and a hideous backpack (like the bears that Miley Cyrus’ dancers wore VMAs circa 2013) because you are trying to do everything at once, stop and take a breath.  This might seem corny, but look in the mirror and say (or think depending on how public you currently are) – “I am alive.  I am breathing.  I am still walking this earth.”  If you are a believer you might think – “If I am still here, God ain’t done with me yet!”

You can do anything.  You can accomplish many great things in one hour, more in a day, even more in a week, a lot in a month, quite a bit in a year, and amazing things in a decade.  BUT you can’t do everything today!  Seek out your priorities.  Set small goals and give yourself (or a friend!) a high five when you accomplish them.  And as my mom would say when I am truly struggling (like snotty, hyperventilating, ugly cry sobbing) – JUST BREATHE.

Prioritize your “everything” and figure out what “anything” you are going to accomplish today.

You got this!

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Stop and Smell the Roses (aka dance)

Dallas Rock N Roll 2014 was the second half marathon that I ever completed.  One cool thing about each Rock N Roll race is that there are bands/DJs/music along the course every few miles.  The race starts near the Kay Bailey Hutchison Convention Center and within the first mile or two heads into Deep Ellum.  I love running through Deep Ellum.  Don’t worry mom – only during the day and with like 1,000 of my best friends.  I like looking at all the cool shops/restaurants/bars/clubs when I jog by.  Seeing new places that I imagine I will go to some night out when I am feeling 22 again (which rarely ever happens).  Bed = 9 sometimes 8 sometimes 7...  The first band is typically located near the Deep Ellum Dog Park.  I have never been there, but looks super cute!  I don’t have a dog and would probably look odd if I brought my cats…

Around mile 8ish (totally guessing here) there is a hill.  I remember it as basically the BIGGEST HILL EVER! But for people who live where it is actually hilly, imagine a small incline.  We are all trucking it up this hill and halfway up there is a DJ.  In front of the DJ is a woman totally getting into it.  She has stopped running and she is just dancing, smiling, having the best time.  All I can think is –

 

What about her finish time?!?! 

Doesn’t she just want to get this over with? 

How can she dance at a time like this???

ARE WE THERE YET?!

I could not imagine why anyone would want to prolong the process of finishing 13.1 miles unless they were injured or dying!

At the same time…I was kind of jealous.

I have never been a “stop and smell the roses” type.  Always GO GO GO!  If you have ever seen me walk through the main hallway of the school I teach at (BTW - it is L    O    N    G), I basically walk at a race pace.  Gotta get there! NOW!

In preschool, I used to ask my teacher what we were doing next, so I would know what was coming.  When I was in 6^th grade, I was researching colleges.  While eating lunch, I imagine what I will eat for dinner.  Anytime there is a baby article on BuzzFeed I look at it and nope…not pregnant.  There is nothing wrong with planning ahead.  My issue is I struggle to enjoy the moment because I am so focused on the future.  I am a planner and sometimes not in a good way.

Not to get morbid or depressing, but sometimes I have to remind myself – the future may not happen.  I do this to try to get myself to focus on the now. My only regret about anything in my past is not enjoying all of the amazing moments that have been a part of my life.  Most of the time, I don’t even recognize how amazing they are until they are over.  It might seem crazy/odd, but it is ok to stop during something fantastic and say – “This is an amazing moment!”.

I feel like that is what that woman was thinking while dancing next to the DJ.  She wasn’t thinking about how far away the finish line was.  She realized –

How cool is it that there is a DJ playing in the middle of Dallas (during the day)?!

There are tons of spectators cheering us on.

I will finish those last few miles in a bit.

This is an amazing moment and I’m going to dance!

Life is short.  As adults, I think we all know that by now.  Enjoy the present.  And in the words of Lee Ann Womack “I hope you dance”.

Yep.  I was born with a unibrow.  #darkhairdontcare

A little elementary artwork.

#thosebangs

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit