Legacy

“Legacy” by Nichole Nordeman is a song I hear occasionally on the radio.  It is one of those songs that the lyrics pop into my head from time to time.

“I want to leave a legacy.  How will they remember me?  Did I choose to love?  Did I point to You enough?”

We all make an impact on the world while we are here.  Sometimes our biggest impact occurs after we depart.  At 27, I don’t think about death much and when I do it seems completely untouchable.  I know it will happen to me and could happen at any moment, but it seems so far away and distant.  I still have that invincible childlike naivety and I would like to keep that for as long as I can.

Regardless, I know that one day I will no longer be here and all that will be left are pictures, videos, and memories.  I sometimes wonder what will my legacy be?  I doubt I will make huge strides in education.  I love what I do and the students I teach, but I do not foresee myself moving mountains in my field.  I doubt I will be a supermom (even though technically anyone who births and/or raises a child is a superheroine in my mind).  Hopefully, I raise great kiddos, but I doubt I will make any major impact in the field of parenting.  I love myself, but consider myself kind of basic in most areas of my life.  Yep people – I said it and I am OK WITH THAT!  So what will my legacy be? 

I hope it will be my words.  I am a shy introvert (What? You couldn’t tell?!).  I’m starting to think I might even have some social anxiety, so my legacy will not be my verbal words, but I hope my written words. 

I started journaling when I was in about second grade.  My first dated journal entry was in 1997.  

My second grade picture

First entries (not dated)

First Dated Entry

Y'all I was trying to find a husband at age 8!

My collection of completed journals

I stopped journaling regularly some time in college and it is one of my biggest regrets.  I will never be 100% open on my blog.  Just so ya know!  BUT I have been 100% open in my journals over the years.  I think one of the best legacies we can leave behind is “telling it all” – the good, the bad, the ugly, the scary, the beautiful, the crazy.  Most of us walk this earth trying to look like we have it semi put together.  And that is ok!  As adults, especially in the professional world, people should be able to trust us to do our jobs and lead “adult lives”.  The fact of the matter is most of us, especially in our 20s, are still trying to figure it all out.  The problem is it looks like we know what we are doing while we are all actually struggling and no one wants to talk about it because we think we are the only ones who just want to be a 12 year old at summer camp again – some freedom, but still have mom and dad waiting at home to fix  dinner, clean  dirty camp clothes, and tuck us in at night.

Ok Whit – bunny trail – come back – refocus – LEGACY.

But all of that does have to do with my legacy!  I want people to read my journals when I am gone or maybe I will show them to my nieces/daughters/granddaughters when I am still here to say “Hey!  Look at June 25, 2005!  I know what it is like to like a boy and get turned down!”  I want people to see the “deep stuff” and the vulnerability.  I want them to know that they are not alone in their struggles, fears, goals, aspirations, etc.  While on this earth, I think we all put up a facade (some more than others).  No one truly knows the real us.  But when we leave, I think our best gift is to tell the world everything.  To come completely clean if we never have before.  Hopefully someone will “read our words” (or whatever your legacy is) and feel that they have hope.  “If (insert name here) can get through this and succeed, then so can I!” 

Life is precious.  It definitely should not be wasted thinking about it being over, BUT when it is over (hopefully a L...O...N...G time from now for us all), what legacy will you leave behind? 

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit