Going for Gold/Dealing with Defeat

When I was growing up, there was a strong push for “everyone gets a trophy!”  The idea is still around today, but I think that people are starting to question it a little bit more.  When kiddos are little (under 5), I think the idea is ok. 

“You played on your first sports team!  Here is a tangible award.”

“You drew your first family picture! Gold star for you!”

“You got through your first dance class without crying.  Ice cream for everyone!”

I feel like those kiddos need that praise and motivation in order to continue trying.  When kids get older though, I think it is ok to have one true winner.  It is acceptable to let kids feel a little let down when they don’t win the science fair, the football game, or get an A++ on their essay.  It simulates the “real world” where even when you try your hardest you don’t always win.

I saw excellent examples of graceful “defeat” during the Rio 2016 Olympics this past summer.  It started with the trials.  I couldn’t imagine training for 4 years (I mean I know for most of them it has been their whole lives) and then not making the team because of an injury, fall, “off” day, someone trained a little harder, etc.  These examples continued during the Olympics when athletes competed and only three “won”.  Again, watching the faces of athletes who had trained and put their whole beings into their sport and not winning was tough.  Honestly, I was thinking - How do they not just crumble into the fetal position?  Some of them had the hope of Tokyo 2020!  Some of them were heading into retirement.  For some of them this was their one shot. 

Not everyone gets a trophy.  This can lead to a lot of heartbreak.  BUT it can also lead to a lot of triumphs.  Olympic medals would lose their value if everyone got one.  Winning the game would not be triumphant if no one had to lose.  An A on an essay or test wouldn’t be worth the hard work if it was easy to come by.

I think we need to start introducing this idea at a younger age.  When kiddos face obstacles, fall down, and see that they can get back up and try again with the hope of future successes, it makes them more resilient.  It makes it easier to take risks and overcome failures.  I think it will improve our workplaces in the future when younger generations grow up and are not expecting promotions and opportunities to be handed to them. 

My favorite Olympic athletes to watch were the ones with a backstory of “failure”.  There is no better feeling then watching them cross the finish line/touch the wall/score a goal victorious.  That feeling would not be nearly as strong without the heartache that put the fire in them to try again.

The Olympics taught me a lesson for any age – In this life, we work hard.  Sometimes this hard work leads to immediate success and sometimes we have to try, try again.  We may not always accomplish our goals, but we will definitely grow in the process.  If you do get that “gold medal” you have been striving for, it will be way more rewarding knowing that it was not handed to you for just participating in life.

In the words of Aaliyah –

“If at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again.”

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit