Moving

While I was growing up, my family moved every 3-4 years.  We never moved across town. It was always across state lines.  Sometimes we moved a few hours away and other times we moved a plane flight away.  I am Nashville, Tennessee born and not raised.  I visit Knoxville, Tennessee yearly because I still have family there, but we moved away from Nashville when I was 4.  Next up was a town outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  PA saw me growing up from ages 4-7.  I remember a lot of snow and living on a big hill.  PA is the only place that I have yet to return to since moving.  I would love to have the chance to go back and visit.  After PA, we moved to a small town outside of Decatur, Illinois.  The only “small town” I have ever lived in.  A place where you could send your kiddos to a park a mile or more away from your house and not have to worry about them.  A place where small/out of date schools did not mean lack of education.  IL saw me from ages 7 to 11.  Our next move was to a town outside of Cincinnati, Ohio when I was in fourth grade.  In hindsight, I look back and acknowledge that I have learned from all the places I have lived, but besides Texas, Ohio shaped me the most and has had the deepest impact on my life.  Ohio saw me through 7^th grade.  On May 4, 2002, I asked my mom if we were moving.  I asked her that all the time just to hear the sweet word “no”, but that day she just looked at me and I knew.  I remember looking in my elementary atlas to locate Dallas, TX.  Pretty sure the word “wow” came out of my mouth when I saw how far away it was.  Our farthest move yet. 

An art piece I did in 7th grade

I'm no artist, but I tried! :)

If you have ever moved, you know it has its pros and cons.  The process of packing up and moving is a pain, but having new digs to live in can be enjoyable.  Leaving friends behind and going somewhere you know no one is rough, especially as a kiddo.  I’m starting to think it may be even more difficult as an adult.  BUT it is great to make new friends and it forces you to step out of your comfort zone (especially for me as an introvert).

Moving made me who I am today.  Moving made my family stronger because we often only had each other.  Moving gave me new experiences with new people and new places.  Moving means that I find myself often longing to be somewhere else – just to stop by and talk to an old friend in person for a bit or to be able to visit a favorite restaurant or location.  But moving also means that my life is very full.  No matter where I am there always seems to be a “home” that is close.

In life moving doesn’t have to be a physical move, it can also mean moving on.  Your home may stay the same, but when you move on from something important in your life, you often have the same emotions that come with physically moving.  It is difficult.  It is scary.  The possibilities can seem daunting and exciting all at the same time.  You may also find when you look back that it is the best thing that could have happened to you. 

Do you need to make a move in life?  Maybe you need a new place to call home, something new to become passionate about, new friends that will help mold and shape you into who you want to be.  Maybe you need to move on from a relationship.  And my suggestion to you is to move into some “me time” before moving on with someone new.  It will be difficult/scary/risky, but from what moving has taught me – you won’t regret it. 

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Dog Sense

One fall morning I was headed home from TCU around 3:00 a.m.  I was extremely distraught and upset.  It had to do with a boy – go figure!  I had not told my parents I was coming home.  I just felt emotionally drained so I headed that way.  When I arrived home my mom was already up.  She said that Peerless our dog had been acting weird for the past 30 minutes.  He wanted to go outside.  He was waiting anxiously at the front door.  He was acting in ways he usually didn’t in the middle of the night.  When I turned the key in the door, my mom realized why.  Call me crazy, but that dog knew I was headed that way.  I like to say that dogs have a sixth sense – let’s call it “Dog Sense”. 

We adopted Peerless when I was in sixth grade.  On the way home from picking him up, Peerless was crying in the backseat and so was I.  “We don’t know how to take care of him!”  I was convinced the dog would not live a week.  He turned 16 (112 in dog years) last year.  :)

I think the human race could learn a lot from these special beings. 

Dogs have no time for the negative stuff in life.

Every day is the best day ever!  I got a new toy!  #bestdayever I went on a walk! #bestdayever I chased a squirrel! #bestdayever

Dogs don’t discriminate.

You’re my new best friend!  You’re my new best friend!  You’re my new best friend too! #bff

It doesn’t matter what you look like, smell like, dress like.  They just adore you because you are a human with hands who can pet them and tell them “Good boy!”

Dogs have no shame.

“I gotta poop and I’m gonna poop here.  Yep, I know you’re watching, but when ya gotta go ya gotta go!”

Dogs are determined.

They may miss the tennis ball 4/5 times, but they are going to keep trying to get it!

Dogs love unconditionally.

“Sometimes you forget to refill my food bowl right away when it is empty.  Sometimes I have to cross my legs a little longer than I would like.  Sometimes you don’t give me belly rubs when I ask, but I still love you!” *lick lick lick*

We could learn a lot about life and love from dogs.

“People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life.  Like, loving everybody all the time, and being nice.  Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.” 

~a 6 year old’s perspective on why dogs don’t live as long as humans

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Choose Your Battles

One day I was having a conversation with my mom.  I told her that I was irritated because every time I turned the shower on at the apartment, water would stream out on the other side.  When Duke showered (my husband), he left the showerhead in a position that would make it stream out onto the floor when the curtain was not properly closed.  Then when I turned the shower on (shower curtain pulled to the side), it would stream out all over the floor.

I vented to my mom and told her I needed to bring it up to Duke to put the showerhead down.  My mom gave me the most mind blowing marriage advice that covers so many areas when she said “Whitney, why don’t you just move the showerhead down before you turn it on?” *BOOM*  As soon as she said it, I felt so dumb for not thinking of that solution myself.  It seemed so obvious, but I was so focused on what Duke was doing “wrong” and how he needed to change, that I never considered making a change myself.

I think a lot of time in marriages and relationships in general we tend to point out the “mistakes” our partners make more than praise them for the things that we love that they do.  We often don’t notice our constant negativity until our partner points it out.  All they hear is “You do this wrong.  You do that wrong.”  Because we are not the ones being reprimanded, we often forget the list of wrongs we have told our partner they are doing.

There are some things that definitely need to be discussed.  I believe even the little things need to be discussed if you are just building up anger over them.

BUT when you can do something differently to solve the problem (move the showerhead down, close the open cabinets, clean the dishes in the sink, etc.), your relationship will be healthier if you just take the extra step to do it.  If it bothers you and not the other person, I feel like it kind of falls on you to make the change whether that be cleaning up clothes left on the floor or bringing up the problem to your partner if it is really that big of a problem.

Also, when your partner/friend/spouse/etc. does something that you appreciate – TELL HIM/HER!  I think it is human nature to feel the need to comment when something is wrong, but forget to comment when something is right. 

As the old saying goes “Choose your battles.”  If you can make a change to solve the problem, don’t pick up your sword and shield.  Constantly wearing battle gear sounds sweaty, tiring, and not cute anyway.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

She Did What She Could

Recently, I went on my longest run in order to cap off my training for the Dallas Marathon in December.  I had been adding about 2 miles to each of my long runs the past few weekends which culminated in an 18 mile run.  The typical long run before a marathon is about 20 miles.  On the ride home, I was happy about my run but those 2 miles haunted me.  Why did I stop at 18?  Am I still ready for a marathon without doing the full 20?  Will those 2 miles keep me from reaching my goal?

Ridiculous, right?  But we do it all the time in so many areas of our lives.

Why didn’t I get up an hour earlier to start cleaning the house?

Why didn’t I plan that lesson better so my kiddos would be able to really understand fractions?

Why didn’t I stay at work an hour later to finish this yesterday?

My mom and I go to Sweet Celebration at Stonebriar Community Church every year.  It is an evening where mostly women get together to hear a special message and EAT DESSERT!  It always falls right around my birthday and is a great excuse to go crazy at multiple dessert buffet tables.  There is always a guest speaker before the dessert consumption.  There is a message from one year in particular that stuck with me.  I do not remember the guest speaker, but I do remember the title of the message “She Did What She Could”. 

The speaker referenced the passage in the Bible where Jesus goes to the home of Martha and Mary.  Martha is basically running around like a hot mess trying to prepare everything to make it perfect for Jesus while Mary sits at His feet listening to Him.  Martha calls out Mary for being lazy and Jesus snaps back telling Martha she needs to chill and Mary has made the right decision. 

(Luke 10:38-42)

This time of year it is so easy to feel like your best is not good enough.  It is easy to question if you even did your best.  Did you give as much as you could?  Did you work as hard as you could?  Did you make everyone happy?  And all of these questions take away from resting and spending time with loved ones which is what this season is all about.

When I get wrapped up in not feeling like I did enough, I often repeat the title of that message and it brings me peace.  It is not an excuse.  It is the recognition that I will never be perfect.  I will always be my biggest critic.  I will always have something to strive for next time.  But for today, for this moment, “she did what she could”.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Home

“I feel home,
When I see the faces that remember my own.
I feel home,
When I'm chillin outside with the people I know.

I feel home,
And that's just what I feel.
Home to me is reality,
And all I need is something real.”

“I Feel Home” by O.A.R

Often in books and movies, the main character heads home when there is a major conflict in his/her life.  Home is usually the childhood house the character grew up in where his/her parents still live.  There is something peaceful about a place that holds many of our memories with friends and family.  Memories of the “best days ever” and memories of overcoming heartbreak.  Our childhood pets may still be there or at least pictures and memories of them. 

Growing up my family moved about every 3-4 years due to my dad’s job.  I was born in Nashville, but soon moved to Pennsylvania, Illinois, Ohio, and now reside in Texas.  It was definitely hard to feel settled when you knew that a change was sure to come.  It was hard to find my home.

Knoxville, Tennessee at that time was the only constant in my life.  It is where the majority of my family lived and still do.  We would visit about every 6 months or more often.  No matter where my physical home was, I would always find myself at home in Knoxville. 

Recently, Duke and I went to a UT (University of TENNESSEE) watch party in Plano.  It was the BIG GAME of the year – the only one that matters in my brother’s opinion – the Florida Gators.  It was not a pretty game for us, but we pulled it out at the end.  The watch party went crazy – Rocky Top blaring, “I said it’s great to be a Tennessee Vol” being chanted, high fives all around.  And in that moment – I felt home.

Your home may be a house, apartment, other dwelling place, city, state, country, mountain top, shoreline, or even a person or pet.  It is a place of rest and relaxation.  A place to “take your bra off” and just be yourself.  There is no one to be professional for.  There is no one there to judge you.  It is your escape and respite from the world around you.  Maybe you go there every day or maybe it is somewhere you haven’t been in a long time.  My suggestion to you is to return there whenever you can.  Take some time away from the daily toil and struggles of life and just be at home for a bit.  I find that when we are home often enough we seem to carry a bit of it with us even when we are far away.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

The Beauty of Support

There is something about long distance races that makes you recognize and acknowledge the beauty of support.  Even when it is not family or friends, you can see it and feel it.  It is on the faces of people holding up signs that say “Go Stranger, Go!”  It is the woman holding out a box of tissues for anyone who needs them on a cold, winter morning.  It is the volunteers who get up extra early to pass out water and sports drinks during all types of weather.  It is the police officer playing “Eye of the Tiger” on his harmonica while directing traffic as you jog by. 

I saw it recently while waiting for Duke at the Chicago Marathon.  The family reunion area was packed with anxiously waiting family members when I got there at about 11 a.m.  Families and friends were waiting with signs, balloons, flowers, and hugs.  Volunteers were there too.  Every time a runner hobbled up to the beer tent, multiple volunteers cheered.   

I guarantee you there would less people crossing the finish line without support.  By the end of a long run, it is all mental and there is something so motivating about the people cheering you on and the loved ones anxiously waiting to congratulate you at the finish line.

It can also be seen when there is struggle and defeat.  It is the helping hand that reaches out when you fall because you trip or your body gives out.  It is the medics along the course who are there to assist anyone with a cramp to a broken bone or an even more dire situation.  It is the hug when tears fall down.  And it is the fact that no one says “you didn’t try hard enough”.  It is the reassurance of “it is amazing that you even tired and we will be here to support you next time and the time after that”.

Support is necessary to be successful in all areas of life.  It is important that we let those in our lives know that they are not alone in their struggles and triumphs.  We are there for them whether we can actually be there physically or not.  We have their backs.  We are cheering them on.  And we will be there at the finish line no matter what the outcome of their race.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

STRONG

I have always loved watching Biggest Loser.  In fact, any time a weight loss show is on I typically tune in.  Weight has always been a struggle for me, so I really identify with people who are trying to make a change to their bodies.  Recently, NBC dropped Biggest Loser and aired a new show “Strong”.  The show was all woman contestants and male trainers.  I’m not sure when we made the switch from “amount of weight lost” to “strong bodies”, but I LOVE IT!

My younger years were mostly in the 90s where the “waif” look was in.  I don’t even think I had that body type when I was born.  There was no way I was ever going to accomplish looking like those thin girls in the media – for some reason I picture them with round sunglasses and Nirvana t-shirts.  As an adult woman, I can somewhat accept that now, but as a young girl I would not be happy until I was “skinny”.  It wasn’t about health, strength, or happiness, it was about the way that other people viewed me.  And the crazy thing is – for those of you who have reached a “goal weight” or “size”- you look in the mirror and still aren’t happy!!

Through social media and interactions with other people, I have started to see the switch from skinny to strong.  I think it will take a while to really get out there and I think the media will continue to F it up (now the look is curves, but with the tiniest waist ever, big breast, and a big butt all which can only be obtained if you are a Kardashian or have surgery), but I love that it is out there.

And the thing is – strong isn’t just your physical body.  Strong is getting up every day and going to work.  Strong is raising children. Strong is dealing with not being able to have children.  Strong is overcoming an addiction every minute that you say no to it.  Strong is dealing with mental illness daily and continuing to press on.  Strong is choosing the veggies over the chips.  Strong is choosing the chips and not beating yourself up about it!

On those “weak days” (we all have them) – sit down with a pencil and paper.  Write down at least three things that make you feel strong.  For me today they are…

1.      “Successfully” making it through another week of school

2.      Waking up and having a healthy breakfast this morning

3.      Writing for about an hour today (good for my mental health)  :)

This could even be part of your daily/weekly/monthly bullet journal that looks awesome, but I haven’t quite figured out yet!

As women it seems that our brains have been trained to see our worth in the way that we look and we will never measure up to those magazine covers (Have you seen the articles and videos???  INSANELY AIRBRUSHED!!). Focus on what makes you feel strong today, not weak!  Focus on what your body can do, not what it can’t do.

And SET GOALS!  How can you be even stronger tomorrow?  How will you be even stronger a year from now? 

Hey you!  Yeah you!  You’re lookin’ STRONG! ;)

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit