She Did What She Could

Recently, I went on my longest run in order to cap off my training for the Dallas Marathon in December.  I had been adding about 2 miles to each of my long runs the past few weekends which culminated in an 18 mile run.  The typical long run before a marathon is about 20 miles.  On the ride home, I was happy about my run but those 2 miles haunted me.  Why did I stop at 18?  Am I still ready for a marathon without doing the full 20?  Will those 2 miles keep me from reaching my goal?

Ridiculous, right?  But we do it all the time in so many areas of our lives.

Why didn’t I get up an hour earlier to start cleaning the house?

Why didn’t I plan that lesson better so my kiddos would be able to really understand fractions?

Why didn’t I stay at work an hour later to finish this yesterday?

My mom and I go to Sweet Celebration at Stonebriar Community Church every year.  It is an evening where mostly women get together to hear a special message and EAT DESSERT!  It always falls right around my birthday and is a great excuse to go crazy at multiple dessert buffet tables.  There is always a guest speaker before the dessert consumption.  There is a message from one year in particular that stuck with me.  I do not remember the guest speaker, but I do remember the title of the message “She Did What She Could”. 

The speaker referenced the passage in the Bible where Jesus goes to the home of Martha and Mary.  Martha is basically running around like a hot mess trying to prepare everything to make it perfect for Jesus while Mary sits at His feet listening to Him.  Martha calls out Mary for being lazy and Jesus snaps back telling Martha she needs to chill and Mary has made the right decision. 

(Luke 10:38-42)

This time of year it is so easy to feel like your best is not good enough.  It is easy to question if you even did your best.  Did you give as much as you could?  Did you work as hard as you could?  Did you make everyone happy?  And all of these questions take away from resting and spending time with loved ones which is what this season is all about.

When I get wrapped up in not feeling like I did enough, I often repeat the title of that message and it brings me peace.  It is not an excuse.  It is the recognition that I will never be perfect.  I will always be my biggest critic.  I will always have something to strive for next time.  But for today, for this moment, “she did what she could”.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Home

“I feel home,
When I see the faces that remember my own.
I feel home,
When I'm chillin outside with the people I know.

I feel home,
And that's just what I feel.
Home to me is reality,
And all I need is something real.”

“I Feel Home” by O.A.R

Often in books and movies, the main character heads home when there is a major conflict in his/her life.  Home is usually the childhood house the character grew up in where his/her parents still live.  There is something peaceful about a place that holds many of our memories with friends and family.  Memories of the “best days ever” and memories of overcoming heartbreak.  Our childhood pets may still be there or at least pictures and memories of them. 

Growing up my family moved about every 3-4 years due to my dad’s job.  I was born in Nashville, but soon moved to Pennsylvania, Illinois, Ohio, and now reside in Texas.  It was definitely hard to feel settled when you knew that a change was sure to come.  It was hard to find my home.

Knoxville, Tennessee at that time was the only constant in my life.  It is where the majority of my family lived and still do.  We would visit about every 6 months or more often.  No matter where my physical home was, I would always find myself at home in Knoxville. 

Recently, Duke and I went to a UT (University of TENNESSEE) watch party in Plano.  It was the BIG GAME of the year – the only one that matters in my brother’s opinion – the Florida Gators.  It was not a pretty game for us, but we pulled it out at the end.  The watch party went crazy – Rocky Top blaring, “I said it’s great to be a Tennessee Vol” being chanted, high fives all around.  And in that moment – I felt home.

Your home may be a house, apartment, other dwelling place, city, state, country, mountain top, shoreline, or even a person or pet.  It is a place of rest and relaxation.  A place to “take your bra off” and just be yourself.  There is no one to be professional for.  There is no one there to judge you.  It is your escape and respite from the world around you.  Maybe you go there every day or maybe it is somewhere you haven’t been in a long time.  My suggestion to you is to return there whenever you can.  Take some time away from the daily toil and struggles of life and just be at home for a bit.  I find that when we are home often enough we seem to carry a bit of it with us even when we are far away.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

The Beauty of Support

There is something about long distance races that makes you recognize and acknowledge the beauty of support.  Even when it is not family or friends, you can see it and feel it.  It is on the faces of people holding up signs that say “Go Stranger, Go!”  It is the woman holding out a box of tissues for anyone who needs them on a cold, winter morning.  It is the volunteers who get up extra early to pass out water and sports drinks during all types of weather.  It is the police officer playing “Eye of the Tiger” on his harmonica while directing traffic as you jog by. 

I saw it recently while waiting for Duke at the Chicago Marathon.  The family reunion area was packed with anxiously waiting family members when I got there at about 11 a.m.  Families and friends were waiting with signs, balloons, flowers, and hugs.  Volunteers were there too.  Every time a runner hobbled up to the beer tent, multiple volunteers cheered.   

I guarantee you there would less people crossing the finish line without support.  By the end of a long run, it is all mental and there is something so motivating about the people cheering you on and the loved ones anxiously waiting to congratulate you at the finish line.

It can also be seen when there is struggle and defeat.  It is the helping hand that reaches out when you fall because you trip or your body gives out.  It is the medics along the course who are there to assist anyone with a cramp to a broken bone or an even more dire situation.  It is the hug when tears fall down.  And it is the fact that no one says “you didn’t try hard enough”.  It is the reassurance of “it is amazing that you even tired and we will be here to support you next time and the time after that”.

Support is necessary to be successful in all areas of life.  It is important that we let those in our lives know that they are not alone in their struggles and triumphs.  We are there for them whether we can actually be there physically or not.  We have their backs.  We are cheering them on.  And we will be there at the finish line no matter what the outcome of their race.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

STRONG

I have always loved watching Biggest Loser.  In fact, any time a weight loss show is on I typically tune in.  Weight has always been a struggle for me, so I really identify with people who are trying to make a change to their bodies.  Recently, NBC dropped Biggest Loser and aired a new show “Strong”.  The show was all woman contestants and male trainers.  I’m not sure when we made the switch from “amount of weight lost” to “strong bodies”, but I LOVE IT!

My younger years were mostly in the 90s where the “waif” look was in.  I don’t even think I had that body type when I was born.  There was no way I was ever going to accomplish looking like those thin girls in the media – for some reason I picture them with round sunglasses and Nirvana t-shirts.  As an adult woman, I can somewhat accept that now, but as a young girl I would not be happy until I was “skinny”.  It wasn’t about health, strength, or happiness, it was about the way that other people viewed me.  And the crazy thing is – for those of you who have reached a “goal weight” or “size”- you look in the mirror and still aren’t happy!!

Through social media and interactions with other people, I have started to see the switch from skinny to strong.  I think it will take a while to really get out there and I think the media will continue to F it up (now the look is curves, but with the tiniest waist ever, big breast, and a big butt all which can only be obtained if you are a Kardashian or have surgery), but I love that it is out there.

And the thing is – strong isn’t just your physical body.  Strong is getting up every day and going to work.  Strong is raising children. Strong is dealing with not being able to have children.  Strong is overcoming an addiction every minute that you say no to it.  Strong is dealing with mental illness daily and continuing to press on.  Strong is choosing the veggies over the chips.  Strong is choosing the chips and not beating yourself up about it!

On those “weak days” (we all have them) – sit down with a pencil and paper.  Write down at least three things that make you feel strong.  For me today they are…

1.      “Successfully” making it through another week of school

2.      Waking up and having a healthy breakfast this morning

3.      Writing for about an hour today (good for my mental health)  :)

This could even be part of your daily/weekly/monthly bullet journal that looks awesome, but I haven’t quite figured out yet!

As women it seems that our brains have been trained to see our worth in the way that we look and we will never measure up to those magazine covers (Have you seen the articles and videos???  INSANELY AIRBRUSHED!!). Focus on what makes you feel strong today, not weak!  Focus on what your body can do, not what it can’t do.

And SET GOALS!  How can you be even stronger tomorrow?  How will you be even stronger a year from now? 

Hey you!  Yeah you!  You’re lookin’ STRONG! ;)

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

How Far We've Come

I am a big fan of reflection.  By this point you could probably tell by my “lifestyle blog” that has become more of a reflective and hopefully inspirational/motivational blog.

I was on a jog/walk/mosey one day when I was feeling really inadequate to be able to run a marathon this coming December. I was struggling at about mile 4 and desperately trying to wrap my head around being able to complete 26.2 miles.

Then randomly Matchbox 20 started playing in my head. 

“Let’s see how far we’ve come.

Let’s see how far we’ve come.” *

My long distance running dreams began even before I met my marathon running husband.  I have never liked to run.  I think my motivation came from being able to say that I had completed long distance runs.  In the beginning, I couldn’t imagine doing 5 miles on a “short run” day.  The thought of 13.1 seemed completely unfathomable and 26.2 felt slightly more tangible in an odd way like in school when 20 minutes seemed like it would pass more quickly than 15. 

On the days where you feel super overwhelmed and underprepared – take a minute and review your history.  It may be relationship history, work history, parenting history, etc.  Skip over the bad times for a few minutes and focus on the positive.  

How have you grown in this area over the months or years?  

Do you know more now than you did at the beginning?  

Would you consider yourself more experienced?  

Do you know how to handle situations now that you had no idea how to handle in the past? 

LOOK HOW FAR YOU’VE COME!

It takes a lot of steps to complete a marathon.  When I am training and struggling to keep running, I remind myself that every single step I take I am closer to the finish than I have ever been before.  At times the process is slow (especially the first few miles), but it seems the closer I get to that goal, the miles start to pass a little more quickly.  By the later miles, your body starts to tire and your mind becomes your muscle.  It is in those miles that your mind reminds you of your training.  Your mind reflects on how far you have come focusing on where you were in the beginning and where you are now.  In the future you may be even more prepared for those miles, but right now you are more prepared than you have ever been before.

Yes, you still have many miles left, but look how far you’ve come!

Keep going!

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

*This may/may not have been the message that Matchbox 20 was trying to deliver in their song, but it’s what I took from it. :)

The Power of Yet

My favorite part of race day is…

THE DRIVE HOME!

I love sitting in the passenger seat sweaty, tired, reflective, and most of the time with a smile on my face.  When Duke and I are headed to a race (usually before the sun is up), I go through two phases.  I am usually VERY talkative at the beginning of the ride (coffee!) and then I become VERY quiet once we get closer.  During those quiet moments, I am NERVOUS!  There are a ton of thoughts racing through my mind…

Will we be able find a parking space?

Will we have to walk a long distance to the starting line?

Will it be super cold while we are waiting for the race to start?

Will it be super hot?

Will it rain?

Will there be enough porta potties?!?!?!?!?

But interspersed within those questions, fears, and panicking moments, I think about the ride home and I feel at peace.

I don’t know what will happen during the race--good, bad, or ugly.  But I do know that no matter what happens during the race, at some point, I will be back in that car on the way home and that thought calms me.

It is the power of YET that gets me through the race.  I am not heading home...YET.  But I know that in a few hours I will be.

You may not be a graduate…YET!

You may not be as healthy as you want to be…YET!

You may not be sober…YET!

Now I realize that nothing is promised to us.  I cannot run a marathon…YET!  That YET is very inspiring to me.  I hope to one day be able to say that I ran a marathon, BUT that is not promised to me. 

The YET is not a promise that your goals will be achieved, but it gives you the hope to do everything in your power to accomplish your goals.

Make a plan, get out there, and start working towards your “YET!”  There is no promise that you will accomplish your goal, but let the possibility of achieving it drive you forward.  Regardless of where you end up, I bet you will reach a lot of “YET”s on the way.

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit

Going for Gold/Dealing with Defeat

When I was growing up, there was a strong push for “everyone gets a trophy!”  The idea is still around today, but I think that people are starting to question it a little bit more.  When kiddos are little (under 5), I think the idea is ok. 

“You played on your first sports team!  Here is a tangible award.”

“You drew your first family picture! Gold star for you!”

“You got through your first dance class without crying.  Ice cream for everyone!”

I feel like those kiddos need that praise and motivation in order to continue trying.  When kids get older though, I think it is ok to have one true winner.  It is acceptable to let kids feel a little let down when they don’t win the science fair, the football game, or get an A++ on their essay.  It simulates the “real world” where even when you try your hardest you don’t always win.

I saw excellent examples of graceful “defeat” during the Rio 2016 Olympics this past summer.  It started with the trials.  I couldn’t imagine training for 4 years (I mean I know for most of them it has been their whole lives) and then not making the team because of an injury, fall, “off” day, someone trained a little harder, etc.  These examples continued during the Olympics when athletes competed and only three “won”.  Again, watching the faces of athletes who had trained and put their whole beings into their sport and not winning was tough.  Honestly, I was thinking - How do they not just crumble into the fetal position?  Some of them had the hope of Tokyo 2020!  Some of them were heading into retirement.  For some of them this was their one shot. 

Not everyone gets a trophy.  This can lead to a lot of heartbreak.  BUT it can also lead to a lot of triumphs.  Olympic medals would lose their value if everyone got one.  Winning the game would not be triumphant if no one had to lose.  An A on an essay or test wouldn’t be worth the hard work if it was easy to come by.

I think we need to start introducing this idea at a younger age.  When kiddos face obstacles, fall down, and see that they can get back up and try again with the hope of future successes, it makes them more resilient.  It makes it easier to take risks and overcome failures.  I think it will improve our workplaces in the future when younger generations grow up and are not expecting promotions and opportunities to be handed to them. 

My favorite Olympic athletes to watch were the ones with a backstory of “failure”.  There is no better feeling then watching them cross the finish line/touch the wall/score a goal victorious.  That feeling would not be nearly as strong without the heartache that put the fire in them to try again.

The Olympics taught me a lesson for any age – In this life, we work hard.  Sometimes this hard work leads to immediate success and sometimes we have to try, try again.  We may not always accomplish our goals, but we will definitely grow in the process.  If you do get that “gold medal” you have been striving for, it will be way more rewarding knowing that it was not handed to you for just participating in life.

In the words of Aaliyah –

“If at first you don't succeed
You can dust it off and try again
Dust yourself off and try again, try again.”

Buzz Ya Later,

Whit